Well, the semester's drawing to a close, and it's about this time every semester that I'm wanting nothing but to sleep.  But somehow the cards played out that I don't have ANYTHING due this week (the dreaded week-before-finals week).  I just had 2 lab finals, one yesterday, and one today.  Now I'm DONE.  I just have to be bodily present at all my classes this week, and then make it through finals next week. I have 2 on Monday: Spanish and Small Animal Medicine, 1 on Tuesday: Genetics, 1 on Wednesday: Biochemistry, and 1 on Thursday: Anatomy and Physiology.  It worked out pretty nicely.  I would prefer to have none on Thursday, but that would also mean that I'd have more than one "fuck me" final on the same day.  So...  I'll take this more spread out option over that of anything else.

Then I'm driving home on the 11th (Friday) in order to celebrate my brother's 28th birthday on the 12th! Wow, we're all getting old.  (I'm only driving because my truck needs to be inspected... it's technically been expired since October... whoops.  Just my luck I'll get pulled over on the damn way home!) 

Then, I'm getting on a plane at the ass crack of Sunday the 13th, probably in a mixed state of still-drunk and hungover (which will be a spectacular state to fly in).  The plane will arrive at around... 2ish? I think? so I can go see Britt!!! And then I'm spending exactly a week with her, alone.  It has been too long. 

On the 20th (the day before my birthday) I'm getting on another plane to Mystery Destination X, where I will be meeting my brothers to celebrate my TWENTY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!! WOOO!  Then we're staying at Mystery Destination X (my family's keeping it a surprise until I go to the airport to check my bag/get my boarding pass.  Only then! will I know where I'm going.  They've kept it good and secret... grrr.) until the 26th, but my parents are flying out to meet us on the... 22nd I believe? Something like that.

Then we all fly back on the 26th to New Jersey, where I'll be able to relax for a couple days.  Not even.  I'll be able to relax on the 27th (a Sunday, go figure). 

On the 28th I have to endure the MVC (AKA DMV to all you non-New Jerseyans) in order to get my license renewed with a HORIZONTAL license! Hell yeah!

Then on the 29th I have a dermatologist appointment, and I'll leave right from that to drive back out to Ohio, with furniture or board for my new apartment! 

On the 30th, I have to sign the lease on my new apartment and prepare to move in by packing up all my shit in my dorm, etc.

From here it gets a little hazy, because Britt needs to figure out if/when she can take off work, and if she can't, then she has to consider quitting, etc.  (I know she asked to have off, but her douchebag boss won't let her.  She also said that she'd be going to visit her girlfriend... and I feel like she MAYBE could have pulled the sympathy card and said like... her grandma is ill or something.  Oh well, nothing we can do about it now.  Her boss is just a down right DoucheBag with both a capital D and B.)  Originally, I was going to fly down to her again, but we decided it just wasn't feasible, since I start classes again on Jan 4th, and I have to move into my apartment.  So even with delaying the move-in until I get back (which would just be stressful as fuck to have to worry about during the chaos of starting new classes, getting new books, etc.), I'd only be able to spend 4 days with her at max?  Also, she doesn't start class again until Jan 11th, which is ultimately why we decided to fly her up to Ohio: for ease of things on my end, and for added length of visit time.  But we have yet to buy that ticket, and it's going to cost an arm and a leg, and probably our firstborn.  Not to mention she's going to be upset when I tell her we're going to have to wait to fly her up here until the 30th.  I just won't be able to get to the airport to pick her up any sooner.  My dermatologist appointment (back in New Jersey) is at 12:15 (and is absolutely necessary, not to mention my insurance will cover it 100%, vs 50 or 60% if I made an appointment out here) so... being idealistic, I could be on the road by.... uh... 1:30? (probably closer to 2 maybe even 3pm) which would put me in Ohio at around midnight on Dec 29th...

She could, for all intents and purposes, fly in on the 29th, but she'd have to wait for me to get there, which would be at about... 2am? And that's being optimistic.  All in all, we'd get back to my dorm (we wouldn't have a bed in the apartment yet) at around... 4 or 5 am.  And I'd probably kill us both in an accident due to sleep deprivation and being in the car for over 14 hours straight.  (I did that shit ONCE when I drove– yes DROVE– to Texas from Ohio.  26 hours total in the car, including sleeping at a rest stop in Arkansas.  Never ever ever ever ever ever again.  10 hours from NJ to OH is enough for me, thank you very much.)  And yeah, she COULD drive, but she's never driven anything bigger than a Pontiac Grand Am, and I have an '05 Ford F-150 (a bigass mother fucking truck, because it's the "new" big, boxy style.)  I have owned it for 2 years and I still have trouble with it sometimes lol. 

So anyways, she'd have to fly in sometime in the afternoon/evening of the 30th.  Which will be perfect, because then she can "help" me move in!  AKA watch me move all my boxes by myself lol.  Maybe she'll help me unpack stuff? And ultimately give that girly touch to the place.... eh who am I kidding? Hahaha she'll probably watch until the bed/couch/the first sleep-able surface is set up, and then will pass out while I move everything in.  I'm OK with that though, because the apartment is on the first floor.  I will expect some delicious dinner to be made/ordered for me though.

Then it will feel like a dream because we'll be in my new apartment together.  Filled with so many new beginnings.  It will feel like we're a married couple moving into the first "joint" residence (even though it's entirely my apartment lol).  Just... building a home from that empty building TOGETHER.  It will feel exhilerating.  Not to mention we can spend New Year's together in the new apartment!  Talk about new beginnings!

After all that chaos, then she leaves to go back to school, and my life will go back to me being a miserable, lonely, book-reading recluse.  A hermit that always feels sick to her stomach from missing her girlfriend so much and so incessantly.





Wow that was a novel! You guys don't have to read it, it was mostly for my own sanity to have it written down.  For the Xanga-licousness:

Why is Facebook so goddamn addicting?!

I was thinking about how much I miss riding my horse every day.  I used to literally ride him 6 days a week, and see him 7 days.  Now I'm lucky if I see him every 6 weeks let alone ride him.  I'm so goddamn busy with school and work that I just don't have time.  And the time I do have, I'm too lazy to get up early to ride him.  Which ultimately makes me feel terrible. Absolutely horrible.  I feel like a neglectful parent.  And I cry every time I remember the good ol' days, and how shitty I've been, because I think of how much of a better home he SHOULD be in... but I'm too selfish to let him go.

Anyone who has owned a horse can understand.  A horse-human bond is different than that of a human-human bond (obviously) and even from a cat/dog-human bond.  A horse has a kind of behavior that's like a blend between a cat and a dog (at least Hunter, my horse).  Aloof, proud, stubborn like a cat; caring, loving, soothing, playful like a dog.  There's no problem my horse can't fix for me.  Even if only temporary.  If the world is falling apart at my feet, I can just go to the barn– and for that hour or so, nothing else in the whole universe exists– just me and him. 

And he and I have been through so goddamn much together.  It's impossible to explain.  But he taught me all of the patience I do have, he taught me responsibility, and the true meaning of devotion.  Blood, sweat, and tears have literally been shed over him. Not to mention gatrillions of dollars. (sigh.)

Anyways, here are some pictures of him and me:


This is the day I bought him! I left school early to go pick him up Oh if only we knew the adventures we were about to embark on... I wouldn't change a second of it.



This is our first ride together at his new home! (We've both come so far!)


Our first event ever!!! (Dressage... fail)


More of the first show. (Look how handsome he is )


Warming up for the cross country part. (I was so nervous!)


First jump of the course! He almost didn't jump it hahaha see him looking at it?


Go Huntee Go! Galloping full tilt to make up time (it was muddy at one part and we had to trot a lot of it)


Maybe my favorite picture of all time. I miss this so much.  My horse has so much potential that I didn't even tap yet.


Candid photo after the cross country. Look how tired we both are


Last part! Stadium jumping! He almost refused this jump too... damn flower box lol


Totally didn't over-jump that at all. Aside from me having to try to hang on with only one stirrup, he has such goddamn scope over jumps (scope = athleticism/strength/ability to jump well).


Yay! Huntee! I'll try to get more recent pictures up.  He's fat and happy right now.  Which in and of itself is a giant feat... he's a thoroughbred (ex race horse) meaning he has a metabolism so fast that it rivals the speed of light. But yeah he's FAT! Maybe 100lbs overweight lol.

Anyways... that's all for today.

Have a good weekend everyone! I'm going to be either working or studying. Or sleeping.  Le sigh. My life is so boring lol.

Good news:

*I might get published! But not for poetry, sadly.  For a research project I and several others are working on. We are researching the commonalities between a gene for antibiotic resistance in bacteria and the gene coding for a heavy-metal ion pump.  The antibiotic resistance gene codes for a pump that is similar to this heavy metal ion pump.  Long story short, we suspect that the gene for the heavy metal ion pump is related to the gene for the antibiotic resistance gene, and that bacteria are transferring it across populations via horizontal transfer.  In lay man's terms: bacteria could be out-maneuvering us in the whole race to keep up with antibiotic resistance = bad news.

*I might move into an apartment!

*I have a job! (I work at Domino's Pizza... lmao.)

*I'm in love with the most beautiful girl in the world. And she loves me too

*School's going pretty well.

*I mysteriously lost 13 pounds?


Bad news:

*I'm broke as fuck.

*I can't sleep anymore.

*My girlfriend still lives in another state.

*I just registered for next semester's classes, and I have to wake up at 8am EVERY MOTHER FUCKING MORNING OR THE WEEK. Not only that, but I'm taking 18 credit hours of ridiculousness, which is a step in the wrong direction from this semester, which is 18 hours of hating life.

Classes:
Anatomy and Phys. II & its lab.
Microbiology I & its lab. (The MWF 8am)
Food Animal Medicine
Cell Biology (The TuTh 8am)
Intro to Computers (lol Gen Eds)
and this seminar class for Pre-Vet students preparing to apply to vet school.

*I'm applying to vet school this summer. I ran out of time. I will not get in.





That's it!

So... we've all lived long enough to have gathered enough data about the foods we like to eat.  Data such as taste, smell, etc.  And data such as how much better the other data is when you're stoned.  Well that's all find and dandy, but don't forget about the foods you KNOW will make you poop... hard, i.e. taco bell.  Unfortunately for you, some of these foods you like to eat also come equipped with this unpleasant side effect. But then you're faced with this terrible dilemma: should I eat this delicious food that will make me poop in about 30 minutes? Or should I forgo the deliciousness to avoid becoming better acquainted with the bathroom?

Sometimes, food is delicious enough to partake of it anyway.

What do you do in these situations?

So many things have been happening to me and the ones that I love that I'm truly learning to cherish the small things– those brief seconds of peace, bliss, and tranquility before everything gets turned on its awful head.  It's somewhat comparable to that beautiful moment right at the apex of the first roller coaster hill... all that stress of climbing is paused at the top when you see that spectacular view– so precious, so fleetingly peaceful– until the momentum of the cars brings you crashing down and makes you forget that serene minute in all the chaos going on around you.  I've learned and am continuing to learn how to appreciate that succinct moment even more.  It's oftentimes the only chance I get to take a breath– so why not look around, too, and appreciate the beauty in the world while I can?  It helps make those moments even better, which makes everything else seem not so bad.

I think that's what begins to consume people– when they can't or won't see the beauty in the small things.  That's when shit starts aggregating and you can't get that back after an avalanche.

I see the appreciation as a sort of "restart" button or a "checkpoint."  So life can take cycles on "shit mode," and then you can regroup real quick, and pick up where you left off.

Sorry for the random... philosophical view.  But... whatever helps I guess.  The expression "just keep truckin'" only works for so long, you know? Because then you start thinking about "when the fuck that light at the end of the tunnel is gonna get there?", and then you start thinking "where the fuck is this tunnel anyway?" and then you start thinking "I'm pretty sure I've been in neutral this whole time, actually," and then you start thinking, "oh I fucking hate stick shift because I've actually been stalled, and coasting backwards down hill this entire time."  And those thoughts usually end with "I hate everyone."  So there ya go.